Friend's trying to get me to move to CT. Thoughts?

[chrisofna]

Here's the current situation: The job market in FL sucks, haven't been able to find a job since Circuit City closed down. My friend says that it's MUCH easier to find a job in Hartford, CT. In fact, if I can find a way to earn up some money to go up there to visit he wants me to meet someone who might be able to get me a job making $40k a year; not bad for someone with no proper computer education. The problem is I don't really know anyone there except for him, all of my family is here in FL. According to him cars I like up there are cheaper but it's hard to find not-rusted apart older cars. I have no clue how to drive in snow since I'm a Florida boy and have never really seen any real snow in my life. I'm kinda torn here about what to do, you guys have any thoughts?

[GenevaDirt]

Totally has to be what you want to do.....don't let anyone TALK you into it. Do you live at home? If so talk to your family about trying it out if thats what you want to do and see if they will let you come back if it does not work out.

The best thing you can do is sit down and make a list of the pros and cons. But being able to actually walk into a $40,000 a year job with no training with all the people looking for work just sounds to good to be true.

[MTec007]

me and my wife do pro and con lists for all major decisions, they really help. dont forget the simple pros and cons though, they dont have to be a big deal to go on the list!

[FestYboy]

just keep in mind CT drivers are crazy (expletive)s!!!

[TominMO]

It'd be nice to get to know another part of the country. But I'd try to nail down that job first; maybe with a phone interview your friend can set up, to at least see if the employer sounds serious about you. If that looks promising, I'd say go for it! Worst case scenario, you just move back. Don't commit to a one-year lease, for example, until you get the job. Good luck!

[JohnGunn]

When I first read your post, I thought I couldn't say much about your situation because I knew nothing about you. I stopped to think about what I would do if I were your age and faced with a decision such as the one you are facing. Soon thereafter my mind ran to general thoughts about how a person, any person, should decided what he will do. It was at that point I began to write without knowing exactly where it might lead.

First, I want to add my endorsement to what Geneva wrote, "Totally has to be what you want to do.....don't let anyone TALK you into it."

But what if you have lived as long as you have, and haven't found something you like doing enough, to let pursuit of that thing guide you in making your decisions? In that case, I would be inclined to say that the most important thing for you, is to find that thing.

In a way, that would be a trip, just as one to Hartford, CT. But it would be a trip in the exact opposite direction. Instead of a trip where you move your body from one location to another, it would be a trip where your body doesn't move at all while your being takes off in search of itself.

Everywhere you turn there are people poised to tell you what you should do. The list is too long to imagine, so I'll just start with some of the most obvious suspects: parents, friends, teachers, priests and ministers, newspaper publishers, novel writers, advertising executives, politicians, judges, police, and most of the rest of the world which in one form or another is trying to sell you something.

None of these people is you and, although often well meaning, none of them should presume to tell anyone else what they should do. The only help they can offer is to tell you what they did based on their own personal experience and how well it has work for them.

You have been bombarded with the advice of all these people for the whole of your life and you see where it has landed you. Now, it would seem to me, is the perfect time for you to turn away from all advice givers and look to your own experience for hints about who you are and what that person should be doing in life.

A trip to another location with the attendant disruptions to your life would not be the ideal environment in which to begin this inward search. If you have a comfortable situation in Florida with the support of family, that might provide the ideal place for you to start your journey.

I would suggest you take long walks in the country where you can go back over the whole of your remembered life, embracing it all, the good as well as the bad. There will be parts that you are now ashamed of and wish you had done differently, but even they have value. Ideally, you should be able to call on the whole of your past experience to inform you of who you are.

You need to be aware of things that gave you pain and things that gave you pleasure. Give special attention to those things that gave you a pleasure which lasted, like the way you feel when you've installed new spark plugs on your Festiva and the attendant elation you experience for days following, each time you think of it.

Do not expect any quick answers. In fact, don't even think of answers at all. Just remember all that you can as you walk, and do the same thing again the next time. If you feel the urge to write down some thoughts in the process, that might be helpful, but avoid, at all cost, turning the process into a job that over time becomes odious and exhausting. This is something you should have been encouraged to do for years. You have a lot of catching up to do, but remember, effort is never a substitute for time.

Finally, I would suggest you speak to all the members of your family, personally, one on one. Have them tell you the complete story of their lives, including what they can remember about you, the bad as well as the good. The day will come when all these people are gone, and you will wish you had taken the time to listen. Do that now while there is still time. They will feel honored, and you will feel forever grateful.

I suspect this is not the kind of advice you were wanting, but as in all my posts here, I ended up telling you what I would wish someone had told me when I was your age.

John Gunn
Coronado, CA

[chrisofna]

Well, my friend's suggesting that I come up there for a long weekend so I can see the city at least and see if it is even a place I would like to be. He said he can pay for half a round-trip plane ticket. I dunno though, my mom said if I don't like it up there I can just move back, so there isn't much to lose right?

[mattswabb]

Also how far does $40k go there? You can live very comfortable in some areas and in poverty in other areas with a $40k salary.

[Pu241]

Good point Matt.
I wont take a job in the North East due to that very fact.
Unless they want to pay me 33% more than what I could get in a less costly area of the country.
Me thinks $40K in Hartford, CT would be closer to poverty than I'd like to be.

[Stivadiva]

Just have a backup plan like being able to go back home if things don't work out.

[muscle_Car1]

Thats about 19hr-20/hr
According to city data

http://www.city-data.com/city/Hartford-Connecticut.html

The median income is about 30k, rents average about $800.


Ultimately the choice is yours. Why not take a long weekend to see if it suits you. There is bound to be thrift stores around so you can purchase a winter jacket. And driving in snow is easy once you get the hang of it.